Travel may rank as the top gay & lesbian expense for fantasy, our ultimate ticket from the pressures of minority living. With travel we buy status, invisibility, non-discrimination, being catered to, and often the right to be as flamboyantly ourselves as we wish.

We and those we buy from should keep in mind that our expectations and hopes are different and much higher than the desires of straights when it comes to vacations. Both lesbians & gays are heavy travel consumers.

With few children, we have extra discretionary time and incomes to spend on leisure time activities. Vacations, however, come at a price. Let's see how we can get the benefits that travel offers without mortgaging our other fifty weeks of the year. Perhaps we can even get more value out of our leisure time because we're gay & lesbian.

Let's start by making our purchases a conscious choice not an impulse buy. The best way to do that is to size up our spending annually, not monthly; monthly budgets tend to ignore seasonal items. Annualizing lets travel compete with our other priorities directly, whether they be necessities, investments or other discretionary expenses.

Weigh these expenditures by putting them into context, starting with stage of life. People in their 20s can be natural shoestring explorers. Those in their 30s may want to build careers, relationships, investments & real estate rather than rack up credit card vacations. People navigating the midlife rapids may use the distance, neutral space and escape qualities of travel profitably to reflect on their lives. The 50s crowd often can combine personal and professional priorities, making much travel a deduction or an investment, scouting out new locations, reinvigorating old friendships. The 60+ crowd may be willing to pay for the comforts that those of a certain age come to appreciate.

Prepay. Just as the best investments are bought monthly, regularly, the best discretionary goals are saved for, with special accounts & regular monthly putasides. Credit cards used to finance vacations amount to reverse savings.

Choose value. Find alternatives, create options - especially if you feel you "have to" buy something. Beware of being seduced into buying general qualities like "fun" or "happiness." Remember that standardized packages may not fit those who see life "at an angle."

Use values clarification to prioritize what these general categories mean specifically for you. Focus concretely on the things, feelings, attitudes, activities, things, and values you deeply treasure in life. Rank your options, and then specific characteristics of importance. Consider then meeting these ranked needs and values through alternative, more economically targeted solutions than a travel package. Consider the value of time itself, often a scarcer resource than money.

Travel at non-traditional, non-school vacation times. Exchange pricey packages for private passions such as weekend hiking, collectibles, personal growth, music - or extended time with friends.

Having run the gauntlet of these choices, it's time to face coupleship issues. As couples, most of us have two incomes, often unequally so. Research shows that gay men often obey a golden rule: he who makes the gold makes the rule. (This apparently is not true for lesbians.) Nowhere does this disparity come forth more glaringly than in discretionary spending decisions.

While many of us have chosen monogamy in the 90s, this need not mean monotony - especially if we're creative with our free time and travel. This may also be the time to register that domestic partnership since some carriers now recognize this for sharing frequent flier mileage and 2 for 1 travel offers.

Other quirks of the travel industry may well fit into our niche. Without children we can benefit from courier, standby and last-minute travel opportunities. Many of us turn our roommate skills into shares of otherwise unaffordable vacation homes.

A special note: People with HIV may need special protection while travelling. Those with Medicaid are often without coverage outside their own state; others who are on Medicare because they have been disabled more than 29 months may be left high and dry abroad. Special medical insurance for cruises or travel abroad is available. However it may exclude conditions that have been treated in the last three to six months. There may be other restrictions as well; read the policies carefully.

Like other financial areas, travel and free time is an area where being gay & lesbian can make our decisions different. This is especially true since we're dealing here with truly discretionary choices. This is the "pursuit of happiness" part - often the hardest part. For this is where we get to truly be ourselves, through the fantasies created with our time and money, in ways straight society often couldn't even imagine possible.